Without a Padel

Mistakes are so easy to make. That's probably why that phrase rhymes. I once put a glass on the end of my bed, then knocked it off whilst thrashing my way through cheese-fuelled nightscapes. That was a mistake. You see I placed something in an apparently safe location without really considering my nearby nocturnal flailings. I once had a length of Sellotape (other brands are available) that I was asked to hold, but thought a far easier way to keep safe was to place on the edge of a nearby plate and the other on a nearby door handle. The door was opened and the resultant crash saw me visit the 'I'm a twat, where are the plates?' shop. This was also a mistake.

Ruth Padel was running against Derek Walcott for the not-at-all-pointless position of Oxford Professor of Poetry. In this role you are paid in the region of £4,500 a year plus three lots of £40 travel expenses for the three lectures that you give each year. No wonder she fought so hard. Unexpectedly, Walcott stood down after Padel emailed the press with claims of sexual harrassment by him to his students. These emails were also a mistake you understand. She must have been so frustrated with herself. [taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptapttaptaptaptaptap...SEND] "Oh bugger, you'll never guess what I've just done"
"What?"
"Emailed the press with details of my opponents sexual harrassment towards his students"
"Oh no"
She has since apologised and stood down herself after unexpectedly getting the job.

The reason I bring all this up is her statement of apology "for anything I have done which can be misconstrued as being against him". Misconstrued? Well I suppose it really depends upon why you emailed them doesn't it.

"Don't vote for me, I'm just here to make up the numbers. Vote for Octopus Derek. Good ol' Wandering Hands Walcott.
Hang on...oh no , instead of taking my emails (remember, the ones where I detail my opponents sexual harrassment towards his students?) and used them to enhance his campaign message, they've made it seem like I'm attempting some sort of character assassination. How did that happen? What's that you say? He's stood down? Oh no, this goes from bad to worse. Hmm? I've got the job? Oh for f....".

Poor lady, it must be terrible to have your actions be so misunderstood. Hopefully noone will read this and misconstrue what I'm saying and get the idea that I think her apology is a bit fake. A bit hollow. A bit forced. Maybe even a little "scooped out".

I think I'll risk it.

[SEND].