There's Something About Shawshank

Prison dramas are often great life affirming experiences. 'The Shawshank Redemption' in one of the finest examples of such, with 'Escape From Alcatraz' coming a close second. In Shawshank, Tim Robbins' character Andy picks away at his cell wall over a period of years in order to reach a waste pipe, through which he crawls for a mile through all manner of bowel-originated unpleasantness to finally plop to freedom in a (not so) nearby stream. In Alcatraz, Clint Eastwoood's Frank picks away at his wall and escapes on a make-shift raft having left a dummy of himself in his bed. True, the dummy would win no prizes, but then it's a dummy so you wouldn't expect it to. Can you notice a pattern here? That's right, they are both set in prisons.

This is how people escape in real life.

I guess the true price of freedom is sacrifice. In this case, his foreskin laid down its life so that the rest of him could escape. It's a bit of an assumption on his part that the foreskin felt strongly enough about escape that it would be willing to give up its life so that the rest of him could run away with itself. Maybe it quite enjoyed prison life. Maybe it was a kind of foreskin Ronnie Barker, teaching the young foreskin cellmate the ways of prison survival, all the while running foreskin rings around the guard foreskins. Alternatively maybe it was more of a foreskin Papillon, spending every waking hour planning a route out of its Dartmoor hell. Either way the sacrifice proved to be a pointless gesture, as sadly the rest of him turned out to mainly consist of arsehole and the first thing he did upon tasting freedom was assault a woman and steal her car. There may be honour among thieves, but hoax bombers are a right cunch of bunts.

On the plus side they are planning to make a film of the escape. It is the tale of a foreskin that lives on the wrong side of the law and is eventually imprisoned for its crimes, then later sacrifices itself so that the scrotum it had grown so close to may escape. I hear they are talking to Zak Efron.