"Gang 'tortures and murders rapist'" The Metro informs us, putting it's face an inch from ours so we can feel its breath cloud our stunned eyeballs. "death with scissors" it elaborates, allowing our minds to fill in the victim's previously scrotum-filled gap. Body "found in underground drain weeks after" it ghoulishly picture-paints. Correct me if I'm wrong (don't), but are there above ground drains big enough to squeeze a body into?
'Bit of a clogged gutter there Alan?'
'Yeah, bloody rapist still hasn't washed away'.
Tragically, the gang in question thought he was a pedophile, but (shock twist!) he wasn't.
He was just a rapist.
Shame, innit.
(incidentally, this is my 50th post. Does Hallmark do cards for such? Probably not. Either way, thanks for reading.)
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