To Truly Spite Your Face

A little while ago I mentioned the man who escaped from prison through the sacrifice of his foreskin. Now I look at that sentence it does seem as if he and his foreskin were escaping independantly. They might have been in the process of climbing the fence when suddenly twenty guards spilled out of the building waving dogs whilst batons growled at their feet. The foreskin may have looked at his comrade and his comrade may have looked at him.
"It looks like this is the end for us, old boy" says the prisoner.
"It certainly seems that way" says the foreskin, the words leaking from his mouth like droplets of unshaked urine. It is at this point that his creased face changes, as if he has been confused all his life and is only now experiencing clarity.
"Tell Frances I love her"
"Fanny? But how will I...no wait!"
But he is too late, Foreskin has already flopped to the ground and is scurrying towards the advancing guards and their baying hounds. The prisoner raises a shaky hand to his temple and offers a misty-eyed salute to his friend, before heaving himself over the fence to short-lived freedom.

This sacrifice, whilst bold, is swiftly forgotten in the light of a 25 year old Egyptian man who, when his family wouldn't let him marry his beloved, opted to cut off his own penis. Presumably by way of protest.

This is bizarre for many reasons, most of which involve the words 'he cut off own his penis'. There is also the slight issue of him choosing to protest in this manner. You see he has been trying to persuade his father to let him marry a girl from a lower social class for two years, but his father remained resolute. It was time for action, so out came the knife, off came the winkie, and 'hello' said the understandably perplexed hospital. For his sake I really do hope that the protest was as unsuccessful as the hospital's attempts to reattach his little flesh-fez. Imagine the disappointment if he relented.
"Aziz, what are you doing?"
"I'm...cutting...off...my...penis"
"Why?"
"I'm...really...upset"
"Because you can't marry Fukayna?"
"Yes"
"Well if she means that much to you, feel free"
"What?"
"Marry her. I mean, I thought she was after your money but if you're willy to risk it then, well, go for it"
"What was that?"
"If you're willing to risk it"
"It sounded more like...actually, never mind. Can you call an ambulance? I'm feeling unusual".

He is currently resting in hospital with a jar next to him containing what appears to be a depressed frankfurter. I honestly hope his protest didn't work. That would be an awkward phone call.
"Hey honey, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is that you can come off the pill..."