Lie in which wardrobe

Sat in my room in a hotel near Leamington Spa, I am delighted to see that there is a small safe in one of the desk cupboards. My delight stems from the warning label on the door stating 'danger of suffocation exists'. I love the idea that a couple might contemplate putting their child in a safe so that noone steals it when they go for dinner. Why didn't the McCanns think of that?

When I say the warning's on the door, more specifically it is on the inside of the door. As if the tiny new inhabitant would watch the door close, light a candle and then see the sign. A baby's first words, unheard by its parents: "oh...crap".

Sensible positioning or not, the label seems awfully specific to me. 'Danger of suffocation exists'. Yes, yes it does. So does danger of fire. Danger of being run over. Of being mugged. Of getting your heart broken. Being stabbed. Beaten. Poisoned. Electrocuted. Why not include all the dangers that await me rather than just one? Then put it on the room door so I see it when I cross the threshold into the snakepit.

'Just so you know, danger of x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x; x...exists. Be careful big guy.'