DVDepressed

Yesterday I bought a DVD and upon opening it was greeted with a flyer advertising Blu-ray discs, with the words “LOOK WHAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON” shouting at me in large-but-bland lettering. Basically, I had bought something that couldn’t wait to tell me how shit it’s going to look as soon as I got home, how I was a prick for being too poor to buy a Blu-ray player, and how I would be better served breaking the disc in half and carving my face off with the shards of ugly low-definition plastic than subject myself to ninety minutes of awful picture quality.

What happened to just listing the chapters? Now you can’t buy something without it looking up at you with a weary expression, and saying with a sigh “just so you know, I’m going to be rubbish”. I don’t recall VHS tapes doing this. But then they were too busy grabbing their balls and reminiscing about seeing off Betamax to notice the DVD creeping stealthily behind them with a garrote.